Before Reality Existed- Liz – Part 1

Prior to 2001 I knew I had spent thirty-eight years wondering if what I was experiencing was real. For me it was, but to others it was not. This is the biggest force against those who are experiencers. Disbelieve by others, especially those you love the most. It didn’t matter what environment I was in: whether it was with family or church what I was seeing was considered demonic and of the devil, some blew it off as a result of my marijuana phase in my late teens and early twenties, but that never explained what I saw prior to it. I couldn’t win for losing when it came to finding answers.
In my early childhood I use to have an invisible friend. I was told it was a phase and that I would grow out of it. At six I had a fear of the dentist that led my mom to cringe every time she thought she would have to take me in. Apparently the stress was so much that she avoided it as much as possible. Even when I was sixteen she asked my grandmother take me in, because she didn’t want to see me freak out in the chair again. She never knew how I would react. But the dentist wasn’t the only one I would have problems with. I had to go in for a shot with the doctor at around seven years of age; it took six staff to hold me down…again an embarrassment to my mom.
The biggest examples of strangeness in my life were at four, eight, and twelve. Between four and six I remember having a male baby sitter that would take me away from my brother and hurt me. I confronted my mom about this sitter in my thirties. I just wanted to know who he was. Her answer was not something I wanted to hear, “you never had a male babysitter”. Due to the answer I had to revaluate my life. Could my memories be a lie? Under the use of hypnosis I found out what was really happening and it had nothing to do with the male sitter.
Then at eight I was taken into the doctor for vaginal bleeding. My mom and grandmother couldn’t believe that I started my period at that age, though it had been known to happen. I remember them making a huge deal out of it all. It was embarrassing to say the least. It was the end result that left everyone confused…apparently I had a surgical cut in my vaginal area that no one could explain. They thought that maybe I had fallen on something that cause it, but they still couldn’t explain the precision of the cut.
Then at the age of twelve I began having nosebleeds. They would just start and then end. Worried my mom ran me to the doctor. He could not find a cause, so to be a professional he decided to say I was allergic to dust. It was the only explanation he could come up with at the time…and it did make sense since I lived in the deserts of New Mexico. But when I moved back to the humidity of central Oklahoma and they still appeared. The clincher would be when we moved back to New Mexico they disappeared. I was back in the desert, but they were gone for the most part. Later in life they would appear once a year or more. Not like they did at twelve through fifteen.
These were just some of the everyday aspects of my life that were not only known to myself, but to my family as well. Then came the unknown experiences. The ones I would never share for whatever reason. They were the most challenging for I had no one to back me up with them. It was these experiences that would make me stand out from my siblings and friends.