Sometimes memories are locked away in places that aren’t necessarily secret but for some strange reason they are placed in obscure places, undisclosed even to us. A run of the mill day can pass by without any forethought or care beyond the expected and then all of a sudden with no warning, we recall an experience that we swore to ourselves we would never forget. It’s moments like this that remind us, we are not alone and that sometimes there are unique encounters, that change our world just by a chance meeting. It’s these fleeting moments in time when we are taken from our comfortable existence, and thrust outside the box of accepted reality into a world of unlimited possibilities.
To put it simply, memories changed my world. Not just any memories but parts of my life that were remarkable beyond any definition of the word. Unfortunately for me, up to a certain point, these memories were purposely blocked, gathering cobwebs of forgotten moments in time … but by whom?
These hidden memories, came rushing at me like a broken dam, crashing into my subconscious, one summer day when I was driving on the Westside of town in Albuquerque, New Mexico in 2003. It was a day just like any other with the exception of being invited to participate at a children’s festival at a community center.
Strangely, as that particular morning progressed, I found it hard to prepare for my performance because a headache came out of the blue, increasing in strength as the moments ticked by. It was a peculiar kind of headache because it felt as if my head was going to explode, almost like my subconscious was trying to break free from something. I could feel intense pressure from behind my eyes and at the top of my head. It was very painful but I forged ahead anyways as best I could and started the drive to the community center, excited to see the kids.
Time seemed to slow down a bit and it felt as if I was held back by multiple lights turning red, one right after the other. I decided to turn on my dance music so I could pass the time better. While I was waiting at one of the red-lights, a golden, yellowish dash of light, literally rushed towards me and through my front windshield, blinding me for a second. I felt tingly feelings in my head and I felt an unusual pulsating rhythm of something foreign, touching my body, taking it over one pulse at a time. A film strip started to flash before my eyes showing me past experiences of being in spacecraft’s, and interactions I had with various ET races from childhood on up to adulthood. As I sat completely paralyzed, something literally took over the car and drove me to the community center. The flashes of memories slowly faded away once I was in the parking lot. I almost thought I must have passed out, but then that didn’t make any sense because how did I get there in one piece? It was all I could do not to lose my sanity, right then and there. I was too shocked to cry and barely made it out of the car. Once I regained my composure, I walked inside totally frazzled but I knew I had to act as if nothing had happened. Who would believe me anyways?
Later that day after I returned home from the center; tears filled my eyes along with the feelings of relief mixed with utter bewilderment. It was as if the illusion of normalcy melted away, along with my sense of who I thought I was. For a few months, as you can imagine, my mind was literally a confused mess.
Recounting each memory was like looking into a scrapbook of a forgotten life. They were surreal, comforting and frightening all at the same time. I felt like a mixed bag of emotions, conflicted, numb and exasperated but after awhile, each memory seemed to find its place within my transformed existence and I was almost human again. Subsequently, I was able to place certain memories into a various categories that together started to make sense.
There were memories that were extraordinary and then there were some that played a greater role in shaping my life, even though I didn’t know it. One such memory that I would like to share with you, stands out in particular because it happened in a lackluster sort of place, near Santa Rosa, New Mexico. The memory was unusual for the mere fact that it took place while I was working cattle with my ex-husband, Kelly. Does the movie, “Cowboys and Aliens” come to mind? My encounter wasn’t action packed like the movie, but it was interesting in its own way.
It was around 1984 when my ex-husband, Kelly and I decided to go and help out a friend who was hired to manage a small cow and calf operation on the outskirts of Santa Rosa, New Mexico. It was summer and I remember the heat was really intense more so because it felt like we were in the armpit of New Mexico. We pulled our caravan of horses, chickens and dogs towards a corral that was on a dirt road, forty five minutes away from the main highway. The welcomed sunset wasn’t much of a reprieve from the heat and the wind most of the time, seemed to be non existent. The only bright spot about our campsite was riding out before sunrise and seeing the sun cast its first rays of light upon the vast open spaces.
One morning, we set out to locate some cows and calves we hadn’t seen for a few days. It was already hot by about nine o’clock in the morning and I was really uncomfortable and sweaty. We rode our horses around a bend in the road that opened up into a large ravine. As we got around the bend, we saw a saucer shaped craft on a tripod that was about 30 to 40 feet in diameter about 20 yards away from us. As we rode towards this amazing sight, we saw a tall blonde woman standing next to it. I couldn’t believe my eyes but contrary to me, my ex-husband acted like it was a sight he had seen many times before.
As we rode up to the spacecraft, the tall blonde woman waved at us, smiling and we waved back. We got off our horses and walked towards her and the silvery-grey colored craft. The blonde woman was beautiful and tall, about 6 foot or more and she was wearing a grayish, silver body suit that hugged her body. Kelly walked over and started to talk to her but I decided check out her amazing mode of transportation. I felt compelled to touch the craft and ran my hand along its smooth surface. It felt like stainless steel yet softer but what I found most interesting was that it wasn’t hot to the touch. Being that the sun was beating down on it, I found this kind of weird.
The tall blonde woman spoke English and she told us that she was doing some repairs on her spacecraft. She indicated that the sun was a source of power for her craft. How … I don’t know. I initially got an invitation to follow her into the craft but Kelly declined. Once we got in, we had to crawl towards the center because it was very compact. I noticed that the windows were small. I had assumed since I was a Star Trek fan that all flying spacecraft had to have big windows. She laughed and thought it was funny that I had issues with the size of the windows. There was a silver colored pillar positioned close to what looked like her cockpit, with one of its panels off. I could see the inside gadgets and different colored lights but when she told me how it worked, it went over my head because her technology was beyond anything I could understand.
I asked her if I could go for a ride, (who wouldn’t) and she told me no, that it would be very uncomfortable for my body, almost like an out of body experience that would become very painful. She said the inside of the space craft wasn’t suited for humans in flight. I looked for another seat and she sensed my curiosity. She said that it was designed for just one person. Her seat looked like a metal lawn chair that was positioned in a way that had her lying down, slightly bent at the knees, an arms length away from the control panel above. I didn’t think it looked very comfortable but she assured me it was and I believed her.
When we got out of the spacecraft, Kelly was smiling and asked me how I liked it. I blurted out, “I’ll never forget this day, ever!”
The tall blonde woman smiled at me and told me that she had no choice but to make me forget. I didn’t understand what she meant by that and told her, becoming a little hot under the collar, that there was no way I would forget meeting her and being inside her spacecraft. In my mind, I knew it wasn’t even possible. Yet again, she told me very apologetically that I would forget and just before I could get another word out, time stood still for a split second and the tall blonde woman became a blur. Within an instant, I found myself back on my horse riding up on a ridge looking for the cows and calves. Kelly was smiling and I was wondering what he was smiling about. When I asked him, he said, “Oh, nothing.”
Our time together lasted six years beyond that encounter before we split up. I ended up moving on to another state. As time passed, I eventually lost contact with Kelly. By the time my memories came back, I hadn’t seen him for about 15 years. I wasn’t even sure I could find him, so I could get some kind of validation that this encounter actually happened. In the later part of 2008, I was lucky enough to meet up with a mutual friend of ours, who was planning on visiting Kelly in his home state of Texas within the coming week. He said he would be more than happy to convey my unusual question to Kelly for me.
A few weeks later, I got the phone call I had been anxiously waiting for. Kelly told him to tell me, “I’ve been waiting all this time for you to remember and was starting to wonder if you ever would.”
That one phone call, in many ways, changed my life just as drastically as that fateful day when my memories came back. I had so many questions for Kelly, like first and foremost, why was my memory blocked and his wasn’t? Kelly invited me to come visit him so we could talk face to face about that encounter and any others that I remembered. Unfortunately, as fate would have it, I wasn’t able to get to Kelly fast enough because he died a short time later in the first part of 2009. Just imagine what those conversations would have revealed…
I realized something important from the one validation I did get from Kelly, that in the scope of things, what matters is that the memories came back to me and I’m aware of them now. But I must say, there is apart of me that would love to meet up with that tall blonde woman again just so I can say, “I remember.”