The Haunted Age of Memories and Voices – Is it all True Series #399

Part 1.
A while back I talked to my oldest sister about our upbringing growing up in a conservative household. We both realized that there were some things about our childhood that we had never talked about. I guess this is common in many families for various reasons. Scary things can be hidden and placed on the back burner of life especially when youth and independence is pushing itself past the doors of authority. We wanted to leave Albuquerque as soon as we could but it never occurred to us until our later years to look at why this was so.

Our recollections of the Catholic elementary school we went to with our middle sister are basically the same; lost time, blocked memories, fear and a constant anxiety on a daily basis. My memories of the halls of this particular school seem to fade into an elongated tunnel that usually gets darker each step I take. It appears that my memory confuses the underground tunnels of the local military base with the school because at this time I was bused out on a weekly basis. The memories blur together sometimes and pulling them apart is like pulling apart superglue.

We have realized that the Catholic school we went to hid unmentionables from our parents and one such memory comes to mind. I can remember being in the principal’s office with my mother. My mother scolded the principal for lacking in the ability to hire good teachers because as a little first grader I was not doing well, basically I couldn’t read. The principal told my mother that I was retarded (yes, really) and that it wasn’t their fault I couldn’t read. Little did my mother know that much more was going on and there was a reason why I couldn’t read.
As my mother talked in a very high pitched tone, the principal was looking me square in the eyes, cold as ever reminding me to keep my mouth shut. After all, the very parent they threatened me they would hurt if I talked, was my mother. Eyes cast down, I knew I was just like the trapped animals they hurt to remind me to be quiet. Even though my parents felt they kept us safe, they didn’t understand how underhanded and malevolent the principal was and the people who took me out of school at various times to the underground bases. It seems to be part of the program to keep the surface of perceived expectations infallible for parents so that the modus operandi can continue without fail.

Memories of blue busses and mountain entrances along with the anxious chatter of several children talking all at once, has stayed with me all these years. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all implanted memory or if it really did happen. As an adult, I have found some areas of Albuquerque have a dark and haunted energy to them. My memories have guided me to these areas and thanks to my visual recollections; they corroborate specific locations to profound and surprising detail. Maybe I am the one more haunted than the locations, how can it be any different.

Physical implications with living in a young experiencers bubble can come in all manifestations. There’s was nothing more embarrassing than the moments I wet my pants because my body would react out of fear from some unseen memory or monster. It could be at any time or place, on weekends or family outings. Instinctively, I remembered the locations of interactions or abductions and my body just reacted from those memories. I felt ashamed and remember to this day, at certain places, kids around me, laughing at me and my sisters walking me to the bathroom. I grew up baffled as to why certain locations would scare me so but I realized that Albuquerque was only culpable because I lived there .

As a child, if I woke up with strange looking pink fluid coming out of my private parts and on my underwear, I would throw them away, too embarrassed to even show my mom. As an adult the few times I have awoke with the pink fluid coming out of me, I instinctively hid it from anyone, again too embarrassed to say anything. To this day, I still don’t talk about it much.

The déjà-vu replays itself over and over again whenever I go back home to visit. Looking at each memory, it’s no wonder as an adult I replay the emotions over and over again. I have come to the conclusion that emotions heal at a different pace than that of the mind or body. Perhaps one day, when they are all on the same page I’ll go back home and the moment will be just that, a moment in time with nothing connected to it.

My Life Manifesto — Sandy Penny

SandyPennyMy Life Manifesto
by Sandy Penny, 2-2-2015

I never wanted to compete with others, only with myself. Even as a child, I wanted to create cooperation, not competition. Growing up with nine brothers and sisters was competition enough. I wanted to learn something new every day, and I have. I have always strived to be better at the things I choose to do, to improve processes, to innovate, to organize. I have always endeavored to leave a job better than I found it. I subscribed to the old adage, if a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well. I intend each day to ask myself if I’m living from love or fear, and to always choose love.

I hope, when I leave this world, that I have had a positive impact on those I’ve known, and that I have done as little harm as is humanly possible. I intend, every day, as Ghandi advised, to be the love I want to see in the world, to treat others with kindness, compassion and respect. I intend to leave every person with whom I interact feeling better than when we met, without attachment and expectations. If one person has been helped by me, if I have lifted anyone’s suffering, made anyone smile, then I have lived a life worth living. And, for myself, I want only to be the highest and best expression my soul intends for my earthly life, knowing that when I leave this world, I feel complete with each and every sacred relationship I forged, and every relationship is sacred.

I commit to using and fulfilling the purpose of each chakra, each energy center within me, to express the colors of the rainbow that is me. I open myself to the golden connection that is my crown chakra, that I may bring more spirit into matter. I connect with the source of all light and open my inner and outer vision that I may see myself, others, my life, and the world clearly and through the love that manifests all creation. I connect with the source of all words and align my voice with the voice of love and joy. I align my mind with the universal consciousness that I may raise my thoughts to higher realms and transcend all negativity of the human consciousness, that I may think in more creative ways, that I may inspire higher thinking through all that I touch, that I may express right thought, right speech and right action for each and every situation I encounter, that I may share wisdom when needed. I clarify and align my feelings and emotions with unconditional love that I may create sacred partnerships throughout my life, knowing that all relationships are sacred and deserve love and compassion. I align and restore my physical body to the perfection in which it was created that I may walk this earth, strong and healthy, and follow my own path on my own journey of spirit flowing into matter and matter returning to spirit, a conduit of love, light, joy and completion.

As I awoke this morning, these thoughts were running through me, and I wanted to write them down, to remind myself that this is my life creed, and that I intend to live it fully, and I am. I am a spark of infinite love emanating from the unlimited stream of love divine. I am a bubbling spring of joy and wisdom to quench the thirst of all who drink it in. As I intend, so shall it be, for intention inspires action, and action creates and manifests. I am creator, manifestor and the artist of my own life.

Divine love, through me, blesses and multiplies all the good I am, all the good I have, and all the good I share. And so it is, and I am grateful.

Posted by Sandy Penny at 12:32 PM

AE – Richard Gage speaks At the Commonwealth Club- truth and 911 Part 4.

Expect – Stephen Jones — molten steel samples — Thermite charges -Dust and air samples 1.3,DDP 3 different samples.Metal filings all over the site. These explosive charges were Hi-Tech Lab and not in a cave. Expects on all levels agree it was a controlled demolition of all three buildings — also oral history of the New York Fire Fighters.