Reality Rewind

Photo by Damon Carr
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It occurred to me, that for most abductees or experiencers, we have to take our lives and do an automatic rewind. We have to fill in the blanks, because of those abrupt slips of missing time, unknown people, unknown places and images that come in and out of our consciousness.   Anything can trigger a memory, a movie, and a phrase in a book or dialogue, a location or on the other end of the spectrum, smells colors and sounds.

For me, certain animal sounds can just freak me out especially if I hear lions and tigers pouncing on prey, making those attack howls and bellows on TV. My psyche goes into a tailspin and I go into a massive depression, fraught with an irritability that makes no sense. It’s like I’m almost stuck in this place of a bottomless pit of darkness.

I get glimpses occasionally from my childhood memories, split-second images, voices, and animal growls that make no sense. From the kind of childhood upbringing I had, these images just don’t make sense. If I bring up questions regarding these memories to my parents, they look at me as if I lost my mind. Maybe I did, who knows…

Déjà vu is a huge part of understanding these memories. I have been placed and sworn I had been there before or have seen people in poses, clothes that looked familiar to me yet I knew I have never met them. A phrase will ring a bell and it will be familiar. It’s as if I am reliving something that already took place yet again, I know that I am living my life day to day. So how does something become familiar in the present that somehow is remembered? Is it reality rewind?

Memories can be borrowed, implanted or suggested especially with AI, mind control and artificial frequencies hitting our brains. How do we know what is real within our own reality or what is a semblance of something else? This is the million dollar question.

Within our souls, there is an inner sanctum that can’t be penetrated; it’s a wall-less, lighted array of brilliance that is an omnipotent existence. This sentient sanctuary for the average man or woman, by default, has become a forgotten and desolate existence.  The sound of silence bellowing its unnatural call to deaf ears roars like a raging tidal wave, hoping that we become awake, remembering our place in the Universe.

Why did we trade everything for so little? Who convinced us this was better? How do we get back to our true selves?

We do this by, “Remembering who we are.”

I’m not asking for a hand out from some other living being, whether they be extraterrestrial or interdimensional, I am asking myself to awaken to the possibility of what I was and even more so, to whom I will become. It’s time to step up to the plate, rewind to the past so that we can fast forward to a world that truly is home and to a planet that we so richly deserve but more importantly, a planet that we take care of and in return, takes care of us. The time is now!

Rainbow

Reality vs Frightful Shadows Part 2- Phobias

Throughout childhood really weird phobias crept out of nowhere and I found myself in some cases manipulated by odd fears. To this day, I hate cars or vehicles of any sort coming up behind me. It unhinges me to no end. If I hear cars coming I either run or hide in bushes. There’s a really interesting comfort in knowing I can’t be seen. As a child, I would outrun cars walking home or find hiding places along the way home. I actually had hiding places down in my head that I could run to at a moment’s notice along the way to and from school. To this day as an adult, I have to keep myself from jumping into bushes. I’m sure Michael wouldn’t appreciate trying to coax me out of our neighbor’s bushes so I do my best to control this strange habit.

I can’t sleep with a top sheet. I don’t like the feel of it and I don’t like my feet being confined  by the weight of the top sheet and the bedspread. I have memories of being on a table and having a thick, sticky, mucus like substance draped over me. It would get really tight and I wouldn’t be able to move. My arms and legs would be held so tight that I remember screaming with no sound coming out of me.

I could turn my head side to side and look around but I couldn’t get free and the more I struggled, the tighter it would become. It would feel like hours would pass with no one coming around. In some ways that was just as bad as what the Greys were doing to me. That was probably the worst torture of all and I believe to this day that the Greys and anyone else who does this, knows it. It’s part of the mind-screw that they implement starting at young ages. To this day if I find sheets on me, I panic.

Add to the above, the uncomfortable and stressful feelings I get being in an elevator or in a car on a highway that is slowed by traffic. When I was in Paris, France years ago, I was staying at a hotel that had a small and round elevator. It was big enough just for two people. I went up it the first time and by the time we hit the floor our room was on, I was a total mess. I couldn’t breathe, I had sweat coming off my forehead and the palms of my hands were sweaty and hot. When I got to my room, I looked in the mirror and was flushed from head to toe. I looked like I had been in the sun and was a cooked lobster. It took a few hours for me to get back to normal. I walked up and down the stairs after that.

Just recently Michael and I went to go get family from the airport and the roads were full of black ice. Traffic came to a standstill, three or four times and I found myself panicking, not being able to breathe. My palms were sweaty and I was stressed beyond my limits so much so that I  almost jumped out of the car. This particular phobia, I don’t understand unless I was taken away against my will multiple times in vehicles and I associate traffic and being confined in a car to this fear.

Like most abductees, I can’t sleep with the lights off. The darkness is too vast and so much can happen in the blackness of the room. Corners in a room become hiding places for uninvited creatures and closets become doorways into the unknown. I can feel spirits looking down at me, sucking my breath away or standing by my bed staring down at me. I have been touched and shaken even with the lights on but for me, the advantage is that I can see my surroundings. The days of sleeping in a dark room were over years ago.

I grew up in an average household with two older sisters. We were middle class America with hopes and dreams just like everybody else. Maybe that was a part of this phenomenon, the more American pie people are, the better they are for target practice and to experiment on.

How does the paranormal fit into all of this? Well, for some reason abductees attract the paranormal to them and I am assuming because we carry with us a very distinct energy or frequency that becomes altered through the abductions, it stays with us throughout our lives.

Sometimes the shadows will divulge what type of  intelligence is lurking in the corner. It doesn’t matter if it’s Alien, human or spirit, I don’t like uninvited guests especially when I’m at my most vulnerable. For Empaths like myself, we don’t like surprises so turning on the light seems to be whole heck of a lot easier than waiting for the darkness to emerge.

As Michael says, sleep tight but for those of you like me, keep the lights on.