I am uncertain if it was my second or third hypnosis session when I realized that things were not as they seemed. As a child I had a vivid memory of being hurt by what I termed, “The Babysitter.†The thoughts were taboo in my life and I didn’t want to share what I believe had happened between this male and me. There was an amazing amount of fear surrounding what I thought was a horrible event in my life. But after this particular hypnosis session I began to experience the complexities of the phenomena. My life was now under the microscope…how many more things were not as they seemed. All my experiences and memories were now falling apart. Where was the truth?
Four/Four and a Half
I had just moved to Bloomfield, New Mexico to be with my mom and new step-dad. We lived in a small home off a main highway in the town. My brother and I shared a bedroom in this small home. The house wasn’t isolated. There were, to the west, two more houses. We had a sitter who lived in the second house down from ours. She went to the local high school where my mom taught. We liked her and she would watch us on weekends when our parents went out. This was one of those weekends or so I thought. My initial memory goes like this:
My brother and I were being watched not by our normal sitter, but her brother instead. I can remember seeing my brother sitting on the couch. There was a coffee table in front of it with the television directly to the south of it. He was watching cartoons and was completed focused on them unaware what was happening around the room. The sitter came to me and took my hand. He said he wanted to show me something. I was not afraid of him, but I wanted my brother to come along, but I was told he couldn’t. This is when he reached out opening up the door of the bathroom. As the door opened a bright white light emanated from the room. I look back to see my brother sitting on the couch watching television unaware of what is happening with me.
For thirty-six years I believed in my heart that this sitter had somehow sexually assaulted me. I was afraid to talk about it to anyone, then came the session and the memory took on a whole new reality and I began to question what I remembered.
The session :
I was lying in bed asleep when I woke up to two little people who were not the same as us. They had big heads, long arms, and were quite skinny. Whether or not they were wearing clothes I couldn’t tell anyone. I was more fixated on their heads and eyes. Their eyes were big and black.
It is then that the one next to my pillow reached out his hand telling me it was okay. My blankets are now off of me. I am puzzled on what is happening. I put my right hand in his and he directs me out of bed. I feel, as I no longer have control of myself. I turn toward my brother who is fast asleep. There is one leaning over his bed and now the second one around my bed is next to me holding my other hand. I ask them, “Who are you?†I am assured that everything is fine. I then ask, “Can my brother come with me?†They somehow told me no, but I didn’t like that answer. No, I definitely wanted my brother to go with me. I am struggling now, but there is no use. They have control. I then see the being over my brother’s bed fly into the air leaving the room going through the closed window/wall area. It is then that my fascination is peak and I want to go, but then I turn to see my brother sleeping, tears flow down my cheek, and he can’t come. I am now scared. Before me is a huge black object and the door opens to it. I see a bright white light. I look back one more time and see the house I was once in and the trees that surround it. Mom…I want my mom.
I ask Gloria if I can leave this place. I didn’t like what I just saw…emotions began to flow through my body. The session was over.
What I found out:
After that revelation I questioned my mom about the sitter I had back then and she told me that I never had a male sitter watch me. She has no idea why I would remember such a thing. I didn’t get into the details of the event with her, but she assured me that there never was a male sitter who watched me. This is when I began to see a pattern unfolding, but more on that next week.
Mary.