It was through one of those trusted friends that I was able to meet my dad without my mom’s knowledge. It all started with the set up.
My dad wanted to meet me face to face, but I was scared to for a couple of reasons. I still had the thoughts that were instilled in me from my mom and I had the thought of hurting her or just pissing her off. Either one wasn’t something that I wanted to face.
My dad convinced me that we could meet through a friend so that I would feel more comfortable about my surroundings and know that I was protected to relieve some of the fear I was carrying. So I had a friend whose mother agreed to what we were doing. She believed that a parent should not be kept from their child. She didn’t know any more than what I had shared, so she didn’t know the whole picture.
I am over at Kerry’s house when this man comes to the door. Butterflies flew and I was not sure what would come out of it. The man that came to the door looked just like me. He had my brown eyes. The rest of the siblings on my mom’s side of the family have either green or blue eyes. As I say I never fit in.
We had decided that going to the park would be fine. Kerry’s mom knew where I would be at and she was certain I would be okay being with this man. And I for some reason knew I would okay too. So we took the short drive over to the park. At first I was worried that maybe my mom might drive by, but I had the plan ready to zip out of sight if she did.
At first I wasn’t sure what to say. I stumbled over my words and he seemed more at ease with the conversation than me. Soon, within minutes, he says and truthfully I don’t remember for certain, but I asked the strangest question in the world. When it came out I thought he would think horrible things about me, but it came, “Do you believe in UFO’s?â€
He replied, “Why do you ask?â€
“Because I have seen things,†I replied.
It was in that instant that I found out that he was completely opened to the subject. Not only was he interested in what I had seen, but also he was interested in sharing things that happened with him and the connective forces that he worked with.
In that moment I found out that we were more than just genetically part of each other. We were both experiencer’s in something that was not yet understood by the mainstream of society. I found a place I felt comfortable in yet I was torn by the desire to be the good kid I was brought up to be. All of this would be used against me in many ways and I would stumble creating bigger messes in my life than what I would want to have or what it was worth.
It was during that meeting that we would spend over an hour or two talking about many things, but what stood out the most would be the phenomena. He shared with me many things that I did not know and he would, at that instance, become my confident, my source, and I would find that I could not trust anyone else. My life was being re-written in everything that I experienced. And I would be challenged in my belief in what was true and what was false, but that will have to come at another time.
Mary