Diaries are full of treasures, especially those forgotten over time. As I started to read my diary, page
after page revealed a world I let slip by. I’m going
to share with you just a snippet of a life and time in the
While the Medicine Man ThunderBow wasn’t always
easy to understand, he told me how being aware in the
waking state affected the dream state, which seemed to
make sense. I looked back at my diary and saw that we
had called the dream state “dimensional walking.” It
knocked my socks off, the very fact I had forgotten this
and so many other experiences.
Dimensional walking was introduced to me when I
was just 20. At first it seemed like too much discipline,
and that was the last thing I wanted to do, especially with
just being a few years out of high school. I wanted to
spread my wings and be totally free of any kind of discipline. ThunderBow would just smile as I would give
excuse after excuse as to why that didn’t appeal to me, but
it seemed like he was always a few steps ahead of me, patiently waiting, knowing I would eventually come around.
Something was still coming at me in my dreams. I
would wake up scared, sometimes scream or talk in my
sleep. He would pat my shoulder and let me know everything
was OK. I was safe, and he would mumble a few words
in a prayer and usually, this put me at ease and I would fall
back asleep. It was nerve-racking, and even as the days
were long in the waking state, my nights were just the
same. I could feel something out of reach, out of eyesight,
and out of my understanding ready to pounce on me.
ThunderBow said that whatever this was knew I
was a medicine woman long before I knew or even had
an inkling that this path was even a possibility. I always
wondered why he would smirk because it was never very
funny to me. I would feel as if I was running ahead of
myself in my dreams, and as I would catch up to myself,
I would see a scary monster. There’s nothing scarier than
thinking you are the monster you are running from.
At my wit’s end, I finally decided to follow ThunderBow’s instruction and learn how to do dimensional walking.
It seemed quite weird, and I was out of my element at first.
Meditation is not my strong suite because my mind is a
chatterbox with an endless dialogue to keep itself company.
Sometimes there would seem to be multiple whispers going
on at once whenever I would try to quiet myself. It was as if
they would go on autopilot at the hint of any meditation.
To help me learn how to focus on the “now,” ThunderBow arranged for my first sweat lodge with some
friends. He set up a special ceremony for me so that I could understand the importance of discipline and focus.
This was key to me being able to confront this monster or
the dark entity that wouldn’t leave me alone.
It’s important to note that ThunderBow felt I needed
something a bit extreme to kickstart my apprenticeship
into dimensional walking. With that being said, the sweat
lodge was the start of my medicine path. It was an extreme
introduction into a world of the unknown and mysterious
realm of shadows and magic … and did I say hot!
There’s nothing like feeling like your face is falling off
to get your attention. Yes, it was hotter than Hades, and it
lasted what felt like an eternity, which was really just over
an hour. I crawled in the sweat lodge a bit intimidated,
lost and adrift from reality, and crawled out divergent, as
if something had breathed new life into me. I was ready to
start my tutelage into ThunderBow’s dimensional walking,
or so I thought.
Step one was easier than I thought it would be because all I had to do was look for my hands in my dreams.
Things changed quickly when I achieved this. Then I had
to find large hands or hands wearing gloves or rings, etc.
Then came inanimate objects, like bowls or vases that had
designs painted on them. And then he upped the ante and
asked me to find people in certain clothes and colors. Then
I searched for small landscapes and trees. And the hardest
of all for me was looking at the sky and finding clouds.
I found that I mostly saw color, so ThunderBow said
to choose to see in black and white. I didn’t like this because I felt like I would get stuck dreaming in a black-andwhite world. He assured me that I could turn color on just
by intending it like a switch.
The good thing about all my exploration was the monster seemed to stay at bay and I was able to focus harder
on my research into the realm of dimensional walking.
The idea of dimensional walking has everything to do with
your conscious awareness as you go to sleep. It’s not just a
reminder, but an intention to keep the same awareness in
dream time so that the assemblage point (dream body) can
move about as if you never went to sleep.
It’s also about being aware of what’s happening to
your surroundings as you sleep. Being out of the body
and traversing into unknown dimensions was only part
of it. I had to be aware of my body back in my bed in my
It was when I was at the two-year mark that something
quite terrifying happened that changed everything. I can remember to this day how empowered I felt at first, and then
the stark reality hit me of being completely vulnerable and
unprepared for the consequences of what I was doing.
ThunderBow said my next goal was to find a movie
theater. So I went to bed and focused on finding a movie theater. It took a few weeks, but one night within what seemed
minutes of falling asleep, I was sitting in the theater with other
people. I felt the seat, heard the music playing in the background, and I smelled popcorn. The movie hadn’t started
yet, so I was just sitting by myself staring at a huge white
screen. I then remembered to come back to my body, wake
up, and then go back to sleep and go right back to my seat in
the movie theater. I did it and was elated the next morning.
The following night ThunderBow wanted me to find
rocks to walk on and look for a village or small town. I
think he suggested somewhere like the English countryside. I thought that would be quite interesting, so I went
into my place of quietude and ventured onwards. At first
I remembered almost popping into a rocky place and
smelling the dirt. It was almost like I was literally in the
country. I looked around me, and there were large trees
and bushes on a slanting hill.
I was facing a hill full of rocks that seemed easy
enough to climb, so I started putting my hands on the
rocks and pulling myself up. As I was climbing up the
rock incline, I started to feel tingling in my hands and
arms. As I reached the top of the rocky hillside, I saw a
country house in the distance, and that’s when I got a big
whiff of the dirt, flowers, and tiny shrubs up my nose.
I felt the wind on my face, and my hair was blowing to
the side. It was the first time I had ever felt the wind, and
the shock of it and all the smells in my nostrils made me
I then saw this auroral glimmer go into my hands and
up my arms. I felt as if I was coming alive with this wash
of scintillating energy, and I knew without a shadow of a
doubt that if I didn’t get out of there, I would have fully
integrated into the very location I was at. It no longer felt
like a dream, but more like an actual place.
I remember thinking to myself, is this dimension like
back home? When I could feel the cool dirt beneath my
hands, I freaked out and pushed away from the rocks.
I started to slide down forgetting that I was on a rocky
slope, yelling and grabbing for branches to slow my fall.
Then I slowly woke up. I knew something weird had happened because there was a little bit of dirt on my sheets
and under my fingernails. This was a first.
I realized that what I had done seemed beyond me,
and when I told ThunderBow what happened, he seemed
pleased but very concerned. We had been working
toward something that once attained was a whole other
He had me take a break from dimensional walking
so I could get my bearings back and try again. I never did
allow myself after that to go as far into another realm. I
held myself back and just couldn’t yield to the dangers of
I know the rules here in this reality, but to do the
dimensional walking I realized that there weren’t any
handbooks on what to do if you find yourself lost in
another realm. You can’t get cold feet once you are there,
and getting back in itself could be a wild ride
Last but not least, I did the one thing I needed to do.
Remember the monster hidden in the shadows of my
dreams? Well, I confronted it. ThunderBow had me find
a mirror, and he said to look into it and tell him what I
saw. It took me awhile — I guess because I was avoiding
it — but when I finally was able to find a mirror and look
into it, I saw a hideous face looking back at me. I started
to back away when something weird started to happen. It
slowly morphed into my face. And there I was left looking
at myself, no monster left insight.
As Medicine Man Black Elk once said, “Sometimes
dreams are wiser than waking.” In my case, I had found
that I had been afraid of myself and my potential.
Philosopher Henri-Frédéric Amiel stated, “Dreams
are excursions into the limbo of things, a semi-deliverance
from human prison.” It was evident I had freed
myself, and I realized that there was so much that dimensional walking could help me figure out and remedy. It
was a key to a self-imposed prison. In some ways, I was
the prison guard.
Dimensional walking was an insight into the deeper
pool of who I really was. I unlearned cultural esthetics that
didn’t feel right and had the courage to develop opinions
that were solely mine. I also saw that there is so much
within myself that is basically uncharted territory.
I have continued at a more cautious level with dimensional walking, and I feel it has integrated into my Third
Eye sense of awareness.
I haven’t looked into another
mirror since that impactful experience. I guess if I have
one question today, it would be, what would my reflection
look like now? I guess I’ll have to find another mirror and