Today May 14, 2008, 4:34 P.M. I am sitting at the computer just staring at the white blank page on the monitor; saying to myself â€œwhat do I write about; itâ€™s like I just have nothing to say to anyoneâ€, then once again I begin to just reflect back on my life and more so since I last posted. â€œIts such asâ€, where has my life been? I feel as if my life has been oblivious and nothing more as the days and nights swiftly pass by me. What is my purpose, I ask of myself. Many a day I feel as in a deep stupor of disconnect with mind, body and soul. I feel like I walk around performing my life duties in this disconnected situation. The experience is unreal as I end each day feeling that someone or something is guiding me and controlling my being. I continually think who is it that has control over me and for what purpose?
I snap to reality when I experience yet another death and then another. Why so many sudden deaths? During the year I heard of many deaths of people that I knew and whom I did not know (friends or family of friends). Some people related to these phenomena and some are not related. My dearest friend Leah lost her husband Marc to cancer just recently thus bringing back the memories of my loss when my husband was taken from me too. It seems like â€œcancerâ€ is all around me encircling my being. Within the last six months many friends are falling to the ills of â€œcancerâ€. A â€œwidowâ€ made here or a â€œwidowerâ€ made there as this disease rules our universe. This also brings on the thoughts of all the horrific devastations taking place on our earth as I sit here pondering. The most recent devastation happened as an earthquake shook for three minutes in China. The horrendous loss of life; selfishly saying to myself my problems seem so miniscule. Why has life on our planet earth become depleted with so many recent devastations? Is Mother Earth dying? Is this what the universal aliens were warning me about that we humans are destroying our planet? â€¦..Are we destroying ourselves? In todayâ€™s world what has happen to the respect and love for one another? Doesnâ€™t anyone care anymore? Is this what the Greyâ€™s and Nordics were telling me aboutâ€¦ we, humans are not only destroying mother earth, but we are destroying ourselves, humanity? I am wondering if any alien abductee had a forewarning of these devastations? If they did what could they do about it, no one will listen to them.
I ask myself now, why is it that I seemingly cannot stay healthy this year? Out of the whole year so far, I can count just days that have been good days. Asking myself, â€œWhat is going on hereâ€? I feel as if I am under attack and someoneâ€™s control and they have the control of my body and mind. I have allowed someone to invade my being?? Just what is their purpose to not have a healthy mind, body and soul? Their intentions are what? Is this control that I feel coming from the extraterrestrials, or governments??
I am also reflecting back on the continued strange happenings I am experiencing in my â€œsafe placeâ€ I call home! The most recent incidents occurred as I am just about to fall asleep during the 10:00 P. M. News. Hummâ€¦these three occurrences have happened at the same time and same place so, for three weeks. â€œI suddenly awaken to the sound of heavy footsteps on my balconyâ€ on the first occurrence: I lay in bed to frighten to move because the inevitable is going to happen! Heavy footsteps means a large male is going to break through two doors and locks to get in. I eventually get up out of bed and run to the door and look outâ€¦.as I heard the heavy footsteps runâ€¦.no one there, did he jump off to the ground? A week later the second occurrence happens. I quickly jumped out of bed and run towards the door again, the heavy footsteps run quickly off to where I donâ€™t know. The third occurrence a week later: I once again heard the heavy footsteps while lying awake in bed. I said to myself â€œI am going to catch you nowâ€ as I sprang out of bed towards the door! Quickly turning on the outside light I feared I was going to encounter this person! This person is so quick I heard a sound as if he jumped and hit the ground. Examination of the first floor premises I found no indication of a manâ€™s large foot prints, in fact nothing had been disturbed. Memories just came back to meâ€¦.of my â€œawakeningâ€ with these universal beings that I used to call â€œGod awful Creatures, or Sky People.
One morning I suddenly awoke to the banging of furniture on the first level of my home. Quickly looking at the clock it was 1:30 A.M. I turned my body towards the hallway and the hall is lit up like it was day time! This light was being repeatedly turned off and on. Someone is in my house! Quietly as to not make any noise, I opened the night stand to find my neighborâ€™s phone number. Walking quietly to the closet with phone in hand, turning the knob quietly, the knob made a loud noise; I slipped into the closet with the light on. I grabbed the wrong paper! â€œWhoever is in the house is surely in the hall way by nowâ€. Peeking through a small opening in the door, the house is dark nowâ€¦maybe I can quietly go back to the night stand and retrieved the correct piece of paper that has the phone number on it. I made it back to the closet without incident. Dialing as quickly as I could, my sleepy neighbor answered (it felt like forever before he realized who was calling him) Iâ€™ll be right there Gloria, which he was. The doorbell rang, I was so afraid to trot downstairs as the â€œintruderâ€ was out to get me, so I ran in the dark down the hall to the stairs and to the door. We found no one in the house and nothing had been disturbed! Another unexplained incident! I have been repeatedly asked â€œwas it your â€œfriendsâ€ meaning the Greys,â€™ or other entities who just brought you back?? I feel that all the universal entities and the government have not abducted me since my husbandâ€™s death three years ago. It has been quiet and to have a â€œnormalâ€ life once again, was great? If in fact I have been taken by any one of the entities I do not have any memories, except of one recent â€œdreamâ€ or was I allowed having this memory. The memory is I am in this room with a Grey and who walks into this room is my husband Fred! I am in shock and accused the Grey and this man who is portraying my dead husband as being an imposter, a cloneâ€¦..This clone comes face to face with me and tells me that he is not a clone, but human, and yes, he is Fred and he is alive. The person who died was a clone and Fred, my husband was taken (abducted) and now lives on the mother ship! This is unacceptable information given to me. My husband Fred died. Why are the Greyâ€™s or whoever is behind this horrific joke!! What is the purpose of this knowledge or their intentions!!
Other strange happenings have occurred over this last year, including my life had been threatened by a father of one of my clients whose involvement in this phenomenon is quite extensive on the government side. This person even admitted they were the ones that killed my husband! Realizing, yes, perhaps these universal entities are back in my life. Perhaps I am not recognizing the known symptoms? So much to â€œswallowâ€ right now and am thinking â€œNo wonder I feel so disconnected in mind, body and spiritâ€. I donâ€™t know where all of this is leading to. To have had the experience of the normalcy as I thought it was a beautiful peaceful quiet time living life as a â€œnormal humanâ€. Soâ€¦now why do I feel as I do in such a disconnected stage? I have so many questions and no answers at this point. So, I am just sitting here ponderingâ€¦.